Saturday, July 19, 2014


This weekend is all about books. So im reading The Fantasyland/Fairytale Series(4 books) by Kristen Ashley. KA have these alpha male tendecies in all her books. All of the hero is tough, good looking and bossy. I like that. Plus the series is very funny and fantastical. Each book can be read as a standalone book but there are still lil bit of connection in each book. Anyway i have another book to read ciao!!

Sunday, July 13, 2014


"Drugs and alcohol are not my
problem — reality is my problem.
Drugs and alcohol are my
solution" Russel Brand

Monday, July 7, 2014


I read The Fault in Our Stars months ago. The first time i read it i was having those bad habit of of smoking something. Anyway the first quote that i remember is a metaphor: You put the killing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing. I failed to held on that power cause for few months i let that thing killing me. But now im stronger(i think). its been months since i take a hit. damn it felt good to hold on to that power.

Anyway, i read the book again last month. then another quote catch my eyes: Sometimes people dont understand the promises they're making when they make them. I kept my promise if i didn't i wont be here right but not you. All those promises you keep saying are just words for you. But for me they are so fucking important cause they are hope for me to live here. Now i guess they are all bullshit promises and i wonder why am i still here.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

That Moment

"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. Im ok."

Bullshit. u woke with a nightmare. u start ur day with crying. u feel useless for screwing up ur life. u feel like there no chance for believing in a future. u feel u should just give up in living. u are lonely and u just want to continue sleeping forever.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Kim Tak Gu

weekend. korean drama. baker king kim tak gu. sedih gila nak mampus im crying like baby now. anyway happy ramadan :)

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Dang Things

craps oh craps u said.

Severals ways to kill u:
1. pay hooker w syphilis to have sex with u without condom of course guess u like that ehhhh
2. poison u which is easy cause i cook for u and nobody knows about that.
3. ODed u. i know a lot about all kind of drugs especially that can make people go loco. the power of chemical is crazzyyy
4. Hired a hitman. Plus u introduce me one of them. And he fucking hates u.
5. Car crash. Maybe cause the hitman is the same man that did ur car every month.
6. Accidents in the house. Entirely ur fault cause u are the one that hang all those heavy car things and u put that sword above the door frame.
7. Burn the house!! I fucking hate that house. of course u will be stuck in the house and got cooked.
8. Drugged and hanged you. u are very emotionally disturbed right now. very suicidal person. even the neighbours think u are crazy right now. u said it urself.
9. send u to prison for drug. i think 50g of meth in ur car will be enough for enternal life prisonment. or hanged!! awesome.
10. what a better way is to kill u myself. in terms for self defense. u are abusive person.

This is only a fiction of my mind

Im not a killer. Dammit. Although i really wish u're dead